5 Reasons Why Google Glass Freaks Me Out

(/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Geordi-La-Forge-Star-Trek.jpg ""I was wearing smart glasses before they were cool." - Geordi La Forge, futuristic hipster")

“I was wearing smart glasses before they were cool.” – Geordi La Forge, futuristic hipster

It’s official: I’m old. 34 is the new 80. Technology is freaking me out. For example, let’s take Google Glass. Supposedly, it’s all futuristic and stuff. But it’s not the future I was promised by Marty McFly. Nope. *That* future was all about hoverboards and flying cars. Not some voice-controlled glasses that connect to the Internet and take pictures and record videos from my point of view. Nope. That just sounds kinda dumb. You kids with your camera glasses. #GetOffMyLawn!

Here are 5 reasons that the Google Glasses freak me out:

1. It will freak me out when everyone is wearing them.
Make no mistake – in the future, we will all be walking around with these stupid glasses. It’s bound to happen. At that point, we will never truly be able to unplug from the Internet. But my guess is that people are not going to care. We love cameras. We love the Internet. We’re addicted to the Internet. We’re addicted to Liking and tweeting and instagram’ing, etc… And we’re addicted to photographing everything. It plays so much on our egos. I think it’s here to stay. So you might as well get ready to wear some Google glasses. And the fact that I can predict the future – it’s freaking me out, man!

2. It will freak me out when people can’t go anywhere without them.
I remember a time in my life where I didn’t have a login. I didn’t have any passwords. I didn’t even have a pin number for a bank card. I long for those days. Today, I’m addicted to my smart phone. I’m all over Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Foursquare, etc… In fact, on most social sites, I have multiple profiles. And I can’t go anywhere without my phone. It bothers me that companies have created a product that I have a hard time detaching from. In the near future, I can see Google glasses becoming another device I can’t live without. And in the distant future, when these smart glasses replace smart phones altogether, I’ll still have a tough time detaching from Google glasses. That freaks me out!

Some dude from Google wearing Google glasses.

3. It will freak me out to talk with someone who is wearing them.
I like to talk to people.  I like to meet people. It’s very common for me to spark up conversations with total strangers. I bet I talk to 2-3 people every day that I don’t know. But if I happened to meet someone who wears Google glasses, I would probably freak out a little. Because: 1) I don’t know if they are recording me or taking pictures of me and 2) I don’t know if Google and/or the Government is also watching (#ConspiracyTheoristsUnite!). It just freaks me out.

4. It will freak me out because people will drive while wearing them.
Sometimes I wonder what it must have been like to drive a car in the 1970’s and 1980’s. There was nothing to do but drive. Sure, maybe you were switching out an 8-track or turning the radio to a different station. But I bet at least 95% of your attention was on the road in front of you. People certainly weren’t texting and driving. Or watching movies and driving. And they sure as heck were not telling their glasses to take a picture and send it to a friend or tweet it or post it on Instagram. So what happens when people add these Google glasses to the mix? We’ll be texting AND looking up maps on that little window in the Google glasses. What we really need is a third eye to watch the road. And third eyes really freak me out!

5. It will freak me out when they become ‘Google Lens’.
To be honest, I’m not too impressed with Google Glass. Hey Google – let me know when you find a way to embed all the Google Glass technology into an undetectable contact lens. No one will be able to tell who is wearing one. And THAT is when I will really get freaked out.