It’s official: I’m old. 34 is the new 80. Technology is freaking me out. For example, let’s take Google Glass. Supposedly, it’s all futuristic and stuff. But it’s not the future I was promised by Marty McFly. Nope. *That* future was all about hoverboards and flying cars. Not some voice-controlled glasses that connect to the Internet and take pictures and record videos from my point of view. Nope. That just sounds kinda dumb. You kids with your camera glasses. #GetOffMyLawn!